New Project

So, here is the ponder that I have been working on, or at least part of it.

I want to have time off. I really don't want to look for a job that hard. I know this is a horrible thing to say and will probably bite me in the butt when it comes to actually finding a job but... I have been going to school and working for the last three years straight. I do not remember having a real vacation in a long time. Even this last winter break, I was still working at the Union and working on school work. Before then, in the summer, once again I was working at the union and on school work - or at least attempting to study. Even when I took a trip to Vegas to visit a friend, I took school work.I have begun looking. I found a position at a local community college that I am contemplating applying for. A couple positions actually. One is a pool position and the other one is teaching costume and makeup design, believe it or not. That one may be a long shot but hey, I have teaching and design experience. Granted, it has been a few years but why not?

I just kind of want time off to rest and have down time. The problem is, I always have to look ahead to the next thing. If I don't want to have too much time off, I need to plan for the next big adventure in life. For example, I graduate in May and if I want to go to grad school in fall of 2010, I have to start working on applications right away since they are all due in the fall of 2009, some schools begin accepting applications as early as August. So even though my next academic program (and I will get in) won't start until August 2010, I have to start thinking about it at the latest in May of this year, 2009. I should actually start earlier than that with contacting the departments for information and getting to know the faculty so that when I do apply, I am more than just a piece if paper. It never stops. I know I shouldn't complain because I have been very fortunate with the opportunities I have had however, I have worked very hard to reach out for these opportunities and create these opportunities for myself. I'm not saying that I think everything I want should or will be handed to me. I have just been going nonstop for a long time. Even now, I just spent the last two hours on the internet reading about what ever I wanted instead of grading papers that I need to get done or even worse (gasp!) I should have been using this time to work on my homework for class on Tuesday or my thesis! I have been wasting time!

I need the time I took this morning off from all the things I have to do. It just feels like I have so much to do and there is just not enough time. Don't get me wrong, I am generally happy on a daily basis, it is just sometimes when I want this whirlwind I am on to stop. Everyone needs down time. I don't think we get enough of it in this day and age (BTW - the gym was the first thing to go as I try to get myself on track with everything else). I just want more than one day when I can do something mindless like this:I am beginning to believe, even though I am/was extremely disappointed not to get into grad school for the fall, I need the time off from being a student. I need to not be a student for a little while so that I am ready to go and will appreciate the opportunity more when it happens.